If Marie Maried the Toilet
by MYcookies
Summary: Exactly what the title says! Drabbles on what would happen if Marie maried the Toilet. Rated T just in case.
1. The Proposal

**A/N This story will always be in third person POV. I hate Marie so I decided she should just marry the toilet.**

The Proposal

Marie dragged the toilet through the park. Remember the toilet in the first episode with Marie in it? Yeah well this is the one. Anyways...as Marie dragged the toilet, random citizens of Death City stared at her like she was crazy. Well it's a good thing Marie is a Death Scythe because she chopped the head off of anyone who gave her a weird look. Even that stupid fish salesman. She hated that guy.

"Honey-bear," Marie started, "I love you so much!" Nobody else around her even took a glimpse at her. They knew she was crazy...and that she killed those people.

"...!" Exclaimed the toilet.

"Yes! A million times YES! I will marry you toilet!" Marie was jumping up and down now. She flipped out her cell phone and group called her mother and sister. "I told you I would get married! Take that you horrible family members! You should have had faith in me!" Marie shouted into the phone.

"Mari-" before her mother could answer Marie hung up on them.

"This is the best day EVER!" Marie shouted towards the sky. Unknowingly to Marie Spirit was with yet another woman and saw the entire scene. He had to go tell everyone at the DWMA.

**A/N More chapters coming soon…if you review.**


	2. The Wedding

**I ATE YOUR COOKIE! i'M SORRY! Actually I just didn't upload for a long time. I am at a friends house cause we don't have power right now :(. Hope you enjoy this because it took a lot of thought because I wrote this chapter, didn't think it was funny enough, thought for a long time, THEN I WROTE THIS! Please R&R after you read this. It will make me very happy. ****_(BY THE WAY THIS IS BEING TYPED BY MAXIPOO. We do not own Soul Eater. ENJOY CAUSE I HELPED WRITE THIS SO IT MUST BE GOOD.)_**

**__**Chapter 2: The Wedding

OMG OMG OMG GOM MOG! IT"S MY WEDDING DAY! TOILET WILL SOON BE MY WIFE-I MEAN HUSBAND! EVERYBODY IS GOING TO BE THERE! Even Stein will be there... not that I care. He was only my first love. I have Toilet now and that is all that matters. Toilet is hot. Toilet is sexy. Toilet is... short. Not that it matters.

I am wearing a wonderful dress that the wedding planners got before I killed off their boss, Ox, and they left. Not after suing me first though. Apparently they got this dress **(the dress she is wearing in the story picture is the one she is wearing now) **at something they call the Gas Station. I wonder where that is.

I hope this wedding is in the Lord Death Chronicles, the newspaper for Death City. Well of course it will be there because this will be the wedding of the century. Suddenly I heard a familiar tune on the organ. I started walking to the doors that led to the Chapel. OH NO! I can't be late for my 58th wedding. Yeah I was divorced 46 times. The other 11 times I chopped off their heads because they annoyed me.

I listened to tune a little longer then recognized it. IT WAS THE MARIO CART THEME SONG! I burst into the room and stood there like an idiot. I looked around the room and my smile turned into a frown. NOBODY WAS THERE! Well nobody if you don't count the old lady playing the organ, a little twelve year old albino pastor wearing a hat only the pope would wear and white pajamas **(Credit goes to Luna Tonks LeStrange for Near as the pastor (yes all you death note fans, Near) because last time I didn't give credit to you, you went all crazy on me... Jeez...)**, and... THE PLUMBER?!

After staring around in silence with my mouth gaping open in shock, I walked past the plumber, who started crying hysterically as I Past, and got up on the platform where Toilet and the young pastor were standing. Well Toilet was standing, the kid was sitting down in a chair with one knee up on the chair and his arm wrapped around the leg, and his other leg dangled off the chair while he twirled a strand of his snow white hair with his free hand.

"DON'T MARRY HER TOILET! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO FIX YOU AFTER SHE ATTACKED YOU?!"

Silence...

"Sorry 'bout that. Got carried away. Please continue," said the plumber in an embarrassed way.

I just glared at him.

"Please begin or I will have to kill you," I said, grinning at the albino pastor.

The young boy just rolled his eyes and began saying, "We gather here today to celebrate Yaoi, I mean toilets, I mean _it_," he said the word it while pointing at me.

"Hissssssssss," I hissed at the young boy. Why did we hire such an ignorant kid to marry us?" I don't even know the kid's name.

"Whatever. So Marie, do you promise to not abuse this toilet, or harm him in any other way?" he asked in a bored, monotone voice.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said quickly and in one breath.

"Do I have to ask the toilet questions?" he whispered to me.

"You do if you want to get paid," I said with a smug tone in my voice.

"Yeah, well I don't get paid enough," he answered back.

The boy sighed before starting,"Toilet, do you promise to just stand there and say nothing?"

...

"That's what I thought," he said. "Well, you're married now... Where is my money?"

"And mine! I played the organ quite nicely if you ask me," said the annoying old organ lady.

"And mine! You still haven't paid me back for the last eight ( for Death the Kid) times you broke him," said the plumber.

I started fuming. Not on my wedding day will I pay evil people. "Shut up! Everyone just shut up! I will not pay anyone!" I exclaimed, anger oozing out of my voice.

They all glared at me. The young boy especially. Wow, who knew a 7 year old could be so intimidating. Sighing, I took out my money and paid them all.

"Just so you all know, none of you are invited to the wedding reception," I said like I was da boss.

"We weren't planning on coming," they all said in unison.

"Good because Toilet and I don't need you!" I yelled at them.

"Actually you all need me!" the plumber laughed.

I just walked out on all of them. "Come on Toilet. We could talk to much more popular people than these... things," I said as I picked up Toilet and left.


End file.
